i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
