Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
