I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
