Apparently you make a good broom.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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