420 ftw
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
