D3 body, D1 cock
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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