Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
