I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
