i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize