DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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