True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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