Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
