Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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