i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
