I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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