the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
