I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
