Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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