yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
