Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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