He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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