Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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