Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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