Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
