She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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