just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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