sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
