i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
