is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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