She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
