he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
