Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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