just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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