You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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