oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We don't watch enough power rangers
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
