I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
