Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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