Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
