Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
