My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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