are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
not ubering you a puppy
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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