I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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