I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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