I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
