clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
