Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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