at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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