it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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