also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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