So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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