When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
