4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
